i don't know

I don't know if i can handle today...i can feel myself getting sick from the stress. And the worst is i can feel myself slip into deeper and deeper depression. I start to do ok and then all of the sudden i'll think something or something will happen and i just crash into deep depression....i don't want to go out of the house mostly because i'm afraid of running into either one of them. This depression just keeps gettting worse and worse. I just don't know if i can handle today i know that she is going to be there with my family at my house with my husband and i can't be there. what do i do? i just don't know i feel hopeless and frustrated and just plain out sad. how long is it going to be like this....how much longer do i have to hurt and feel like this. When will the sun come out?