WHY?

It's so hard to see him... i sit up stairs in the kids room watching him bring my kids back...and all i can do is cry. Why does it have to hurt so much why after everything he has done to me why do i still care and still love? Then i look at his brother and wonder...has he taken aarons side? Did he meet his girlfriend...even though he told me he never watned to? Does he think i'm a liar like aaron? Does he hate me too? So many questions but i don't dare to ask any of them. Why can't i just move on....why can't i just get over what he did and move past...why did he have to leave me so broken...i will never understand why. Will he ever look back and regret this? Will she ever be out of the picture? I hate having the same questions going through my head over and over again...knowing that i may never have the answers to them....WHY?