The letter i wish i could send

Aaron,
I will never understand your choices or your reasons for your choices. I have a hard time understanding and i think it's beacause to me your choices don't make logic sense and that fact it's not logic bugs me and makes it hard for me to accept. This whole situation has been beyond difficult its brought me to my knees time and time again thinking i wouldn't be able to get back up again. As hard as it has been i have learned so many valuable lessons. I am an incredibly strong beautiful women who has so much to offer this world. And to be truly seriously honest the more i think about it the more i realize that i am so incredibly lucky to be out of that relationship. It was not a good relationship you were selfish and lazy and treated me poorly. You killed myself esteem i felt like i was nothing of importance. I loved you with all my heart i was ready and willing to do anything and everything for you to make you happy, there were so many times that i went without something so that you could have something that you wanted. I wanted you to love me again like you did before we had aiden. I hate you i hate you with every fiber in my being. I hate you for the things you have made me go through for years. You have never treated me well and i hate you for that. I hate that you never treated me the way i deserved you always made me feel like you were embarrassed of me. I hate that you don't nor have you ever respected me. You told so many people you had to sacrifice but you sacrificed nothing. You are a selfish s.o.b. And i hate you. I hate that you abused me sexually, mentally, and emotionally.You think that i still love you HAHAHA you think way to highly of yourself. Are you really that stupid to think that i still love you after all the bull you have put me through. I have realized how much of a dead beat you are and have always been. If you are in love with Erin good, that skank did me a favor. Although one day you will realize that leaving me for her was the BIGGEST mistake of your life. And if you don't realize it well ohh well cause i know that it was. I'm telling you, you picked a big winner she tore apart your family, slept with your "best friend", trashed your apartment and controls your every move. Man she sounds like a winner to me! I will forgive you and i will forget you and i will move on and i will do better...won't be hard. i will find a man that will be beyond amazing! He will be a man who is motivated and educated. Who loves me more than anything else in this world. He will love my kids as if he were they're dad. He will never replace you as their dad but he will do the things that you won't like be a real role model. And we will have a family and will be happy for the rest of our lives. And you, you will continue to be a big nothing, the big screw up working dead end jobs cause you "didn't have the time to get your GED or go to college" sitting alone playing computer games for hours having no life. You will be wishing you hadn't ruined your life by leaving your family...you didn't just leave me you left your kids. You let your kids down you were to selfish to think about them and trying to work things out for them. your selfish you always have been and you always will be. I want you out of my life, i just want you to leave me alone. I hate you...you say you still care about me but yet you can't do the one thing that i ask, to keep that skanky whore away from my babies. But like i said i will one day forgive you and i will forget you and lead a happy successful life without you in it.